When my boyfriend, Matt, texted me a link to a playlist titled “For You,” my heart warmed instantly. Music had always been one of our shared loves, and the idea that he’d put together a collection of songs just for me felt intimate and thoughtful. I pictured myself listening to it on repeat, smiling every time one of “our songs” came on. But when I pressed play, the smile faded quickly. Not only were none of the songs ones we’d shared, but I recognized the list—it wasn’t mine at all. It was hers.
The First Listen
I was in the middle of making dinner when I hit play. The first track was a deep-cut indie song Matt had never played for me before. Odd, but maybe he was trying something new. The second track? A classic ballad I knew for a fact was his ex-girlfriend Lila’s favorite—she used to post it on her social media all the time when they were together.
The Recognition
By the fifth song, my stomach was in knots. Every single track had some connection to Lila. They were from genres Matt never listened to with me, but I’d seen them scattered across her playlists in the past. It was like listening to a musical time capsule of their relationship.
The Confusion
I wanted to believe it was a coincidence. Maybe he just liked the songs, maybe he’d made it years ago and forgotten the meaning behind them. But the title—“For You”—and the fact that he’d sent it to me that day made it harder to rationalize.
The Confrontation
That evening, I called him. “Hey,” I started carefully, “about that playlist you sent me…” He sounded cheerful at first. “Yeah? You like it?” I hesitated. “It’s… interesting. Where did you get those songs from?” There was a pause. Then he chuckled awkwardly. “Oh, it’s just a mix I had saved from a while ago. I thought you might enjoy it.”
The Problem With “A While Ago”
I pressed further. “Isn’t that the playlist you made for Lila?” Silence. Then, a sigh. “Okay, maybe it was originally for her, but I thought it was a waste to just let it sit there. Music is music.” The casual way he brushed it off made my chest tighten.
The Underlying Message
It wasn’t just about the songs—it was about the thought, or lack thereof. What I had believed was a heartfelt gesture turned out to be recycled affection. Instead of creating something new and personal for me, he had repurposed something meant for someone else.
The Aftermath
I didn’t yell, but I told him how hurtful it felt. That if he wanted to make me a playlist, it should be filled with songs that meant something to us. He apologized, but it was the kind of quick, placating apology that didn’t seem to carry much weight.
The Bigger Realization
This wasn’t the first time Matt had shown signs of holding on to his past relationship in subtle ways—keeping certain pictures “because they’re good shots,” bringing up memories with Lila in casual conversation, even once referring to a restaurant we went to as “a place he used to go with her.” I’d brushed those moments aside before, but now they all felt like pieces of a bigger picture I couldn’t ignore.
Moving Forward
I didn’t break up with him over the playlist, but it was a turning point for me. I became more aware of how often he looked backward instead of building something new with me. Eventually, those small moments piled up, and I realized I deserved to be with someone whose gestures and words were entirely meant for me—not someone else’s leftovers.
The Reflection
Recycled romance is a quiet form of disrespect. It tells you that the person isn’t willing to put in the effort to make your connection unique. It’s not about the playlist—it’s about knowing you deserve more than something that once belonged to someone else.
The Lesson
If a gesture feels off, trust your instincts. The details—whether it’s a song, a place, or a gift—matter because they carry meaning. And if that meaning belongs to someone else, so does the gesture.
Final Thought
A song can be beautiful on its own, but in a relationship, it should be part of your shared soundtrack—not a track from someone else’s playlist.
